Welcome to The Lily Review readers

My dear readers, I am oh-so pleased to announce that I am now a contributing writer for The Lily Review, a really cool blog for really cool people Howz that for vague? Well, check them out at www.lily.co.ke for a more accurate (and dare I say beautiful) picture of their blog.

I am so pleased and excited for this opportunity. Pleased enough, in fact, that I have dedicated an entire post to you, my Lily Review readers. I look forward to seeing you both here at theyesproject here as well as there at Mia’s Diary. You may notice that the content is different so there’ll be no duplicating. I figure if you’re going to take the time to read my work, the least I can do is provide enough material for you to read (and love) without wasting your time with duplication.

Please feel free to leave comments, rants, raves, suggestions, compliments, complaints…whatever. Basically, anything you want to say, you’re welcome to say it here. I look forward to seeing you around.

Seriously and sincerely and with lots of smiles,

Mia

Deactivated Facebook! Adieu?

This is the post that never was, so hopefully the 2nd time’ll be the charm. I can hope right?

Here’s the long and the short of it: I quit Facebook last week. More specifically, I deactivated my account. I wanted to delete it but alas I just couldn’t trust myself to do it but assuming that all goes according to plan, I’ll delete it soon. Here’s a quick run-down on my reasons:

1. I hated the new Facebook. You know, the one where every single action on your part is broadcast right on your wall so that everyone, even those who really couldn’t care less, can see. I started to feel like a tagged and named animal out in the jungle where my trainers (captors?) could trace and broadcast my every move! I don’t need that kind of intrusion, which brings me to point #2

2. I felt controlled by Facebook. I could no longer decide who could see what when because Facebook had done that for me. I hated feeling like I was under the dictatorship of Facebook, where they decided for me what I could decide for myself. The added hypocrisy of the privacy section where they lead you to think that you have all this control over your page when you really don’t further moved me from frustration to serious aggravation.

3. Facebook was taking too much of my personal time and leaving me with nothing to show for it. To be fair, I was the one giving this time to Facebook; they weren’t actually taking it from me. Either way, I decided to force myself back into reality by forcing a withdrawal

4. I noticed that a family member would rather talk to her friends and post things on Facebook than talk to her family. In her defense, it’s perfectly normal for a person her age to do this. However, I noticed that I too was thinking in terms of Facebook i.e. “these are definitely going on Facebook….this would make such a cute profile pic….I’ll see you on Facebook…do you have Facebook?….Facebook Facebook Facebook, Sheesh!!! I’m a grown woman who needs to re-think how and what and when I share what I share and with who.

5. When I thought of my updates as the equivalent to going to Times Sq - NYC and announcing, nay yelling via PA system - to the world that “I ate the best mangoes today….OMG what a beautiful sunrise….I fucking hate….”.  So what? Who cares?  I honestly felt silly

Those are just 5 reasons although I’m sure I could come up with more. I’m curious to know what you think of my decision and/or the positive/negative aspects of Facebook in your life. Do tell. Until then, hugs to you

To be honest

OK, here’s the thing: I had this really long, important and meaningful post (to me atleast) all written out then I somehow accidentally deleted it. Normally, a draft is saved as I write but not this time. This time, I did something incredibly stupid that prevented the automatic saving of the draft. Needless to say, I simply didn’t have the heart or energy to write another post so I waited a few more days. So here I am.

I will write another post soon, and remember to save it to draft as I write. Until then, lemme say this: I deactivated my Facebook account about a week ago. The reasons will be discussed in detail in the next post. For now, let’s just say that I’m suffering some withdrawal symptoms yet curiously, have no regrets.

Time shall tell.

Legacy of a man (with love)

I am so sad to be writing this but I wanted to write something in honor of this man. When I was a little girl, I would always “tell on” my mother to him. He would hold court and lo and behold, the verdict would be in my favor. What’s not to love?  There’s more to love about this man; so much more than I can write in one simple post. That doesn’t mean I can’t try…

1. He showed me love. I can’t think of a time when I did any wrong in his eyes. In his eyes I was perfect and worthy of love, just the way I was. He often call me “kanuku,” “gathufu” and “kanyama” in jest. I would call him the same; I was too young to know better

2. He was hardworking. He wasn’t just hardworking, he held himself to the highest standards. That is one his legacies to me; that hard work pays and even when it doesn’t, it mustn’t be exchanged for lazyness.

3. He cried. My family recently decided that I must’ve have “taken” after him because…well, let’s just say that I’m not  shy about expressing myself. To put it mildly, without me Kleenex would go out of business . The reason this aspect of his personality means so much to me is because I knew him as a man with not just sympathy but empathy as well.

4. He was generous. He would give you the shirt off his back plus his shoes. I used to think that he was that way with just me because I was his “wife” but I have come to learn that this was his nature. Generosity wasn’t just a big word; to him, it was a verb applied to many

5. He loved me. I know I wasn’t the only one he loved but knowing that he loved me means so much. I knew that I was always welcome in his home and in his heart.

You may be wondering who this great man was. He was my grandfather: the man who gave me his name to carry as my own. He who survived colonialism, spoke well and eloquently and deeply deeply spiritual, kind, fun and so much more…and now he’s dead.

It’s true that he was blessed with a long long life. He saw the birth of several grandchildren and great-grandchildren and buried a few, including his own children. None of that means anything to me because I miss him so much and I want him back. He was my grandfather and he was precious to me.

It feels like the end of an era, (that’s what I was going to title this post) but I now see it as the legacy of a man. By his life, he left a great legacy to be learned and upheld. I will miss him so much and hope to live my life in a way that brings honor and positive recognition to the name that he gave me. I love him, in death as in life, and will miss him dearly.

Thank you Lord for the gift of this grandfather and thank you grandfather for leaving us your legacy. I hope to do you proud.

Happy New Year?

In case you can’t tell, it’s almost January 1st 2010 and I seem to be lacking in the very common New Year euphoria. I guess I’m just wondering if there are others out there who don’t quite feel excited or enthusiastic about it.

Things are feeling way more complicated that I thought they’d feel. I’m also on vacation and I suppose I expected a certain amount of rest, relaxation, rejuvenation and frankly, rescucitation. (If you knew the kind of year 2009 was for me, you would understand why I feel I need to be rescusicated.) Instead, demands I have no desire to fulfill are being shoved down my throat and the stress is killing me slowly, quite literally it feels like. I’m angry, pissy, moody, annoyed as hell, stressed, depressed and about ready to walk off a bridge (Chill out. That last one is just a figure of speech but still…) I haven’t even been here for four full weeks and yet here I am, already planning an exit. To be honest, I’m not having as much rest as I wanted. This new turn of events is giving me a serious case of the blues.

I suppose I’m wondering if there are others out there. Are you all feeling hopeful and optimistic about the new year or are your almost dreading it, seeing as a preview doesn’t seem to yield much to be happy about. I suppose some of you feel I should just smile and be positive through it. Well….tough shit. These feelings may not last but they’re here now and I’m not going to push them aside for the sake of so-called optimism. It is my contention that even optimistic people don’t ’stay positive’ all the time. They simply understand that bad moods, days or moments in days happen and it’s only natural and human to feel them. So, once again allow me to ask: what are your true feelings, hopes and dreams for the new year 2010??? Please share: I’m listening.

Inspite of how you may feel about it, allow me to wish you a Happy and Fantabulous (yes, that’s a word. Mia’s word ) New Year. Come over often to tell me all about it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Vacation Education

I’ve been trying to get the syke to write another entry but alas, I just haven’t felt like it. I mean, I’m on vacation for goodness sakes! (I doth protest too much, huh? :) ). Anyhoo, I thought this would be a great time to share some of my random vacation experiences.

1. Procrastination is not my friend – I have quickly come to learn that I must do certain things e.g.  shower when the opportunity presents itself. Why you ask? Well, water here is rationed and so is electricity. It is not uncommon to plan to shower, cook, eat, write…later only to find that you can’t because there simply isn’t any electricity and/or water. Even on my chill days (which have been almost every day since my vacay started), I must strike while the iron is hot
2. The food here is simply delicious. Let me explain: mangoes taste like mangoes. They’re not necessarily pretty and picture perfect like they might be in the US but my goodness how delicious they are! Ditto to other fruits and veggies. They haven’t been sprayed to grow bigger than usual or prettier than normal. They’re just normal yet delicious fruits and veggies. YUM!
3. Seasons exist! Speaking of food and its deliciousness, I have come to understand that in this part of the world, seasons do exist. It’s been a bit frustrating to find that I can’t have a particular fruit or veggie because “it’s not the season for that.” However, it has truly enhanced my ability to enjoy and savor the produce that IS in season, because I know that it’ll soon end. However, it has also led to a building anticipation of the produce to come. I can’t wait for guava and luquart season. Until then, it’s fresh, delicious mangoes. Oh poor me :) haha
4. It’s not that serious! Basically, the TV shows and program line-ups here are interesting. One minute I might watch world financial news and the next I might be watching a program geared towards women and business, to be followed by a “Just for Laughs” show. I rather enjoy this. American TV can be a little too serious and rudimentary in structure, something I hadn’t realized until now. Life in general here isn’t taken so seriously, something I could learn from.
5. Speaking of which, I’m learning that I need to learn how to chill the hell out! I mean seriously, it’s been less than 4 weeks and I’m already getting stressed out about not having much to do. HELLO…..it’s a vacation??? What happened to me that I can’t just chill and enjoy some much needed rest? *sigh* Well….in the spirit of getting some rest, I’m outta here. Wish me luck!

I’ll be looking to hearing from you. Feel free to tell me all about your shenanigans. Mia’s waiting to hear all about it

On Vacay

I’m on vacation for an indefinite period of time so from now on, I’ll be writing from location. Due to my free-flowing non-schedule, I cannot promise to write as often as I’ve been writing. However, I already have some funny and interesting (imo) things to talk about so watch this space. 

If I take longer than you’d like, please be patient. If patience is not a virtue you posses, feel free to give me a swift kick in the pants at miamor2111@hotmail.com :)

I hope to write you soon!

CNN Heroes Awards

I missed most of this event and now I wish I hadn’t. However, I did get to watch it long enough to be inspired.

First was the man who made it his business to provide wheelchairs to injured Iraqi children. This was just so moving; he said something to the effect of “injured children are a blessing and every child is special.”

Next came the story of the father to the forgotten: a man so selfless and generous that he had built an orphanage and taken in so many children. He was now the father of 3 biological children and 48 adopted little ones. He grows the food they eat but as if that wasn’t enough, he uses what he grows to feed countless other hungry children in the neighborhood. Even his acceptance speech oozed class, humility, gratitude, humor and wisdom. This is a man who is so generous that he told the crowd that he didn’t feel like a hero but he wanted the opportunity to introduce the real hero in his life: his wife! The camera cut to a woman with gorgeous hair. That’s all we saw since she was crying so hard. It was all very sweet. I literally exclaimed “where are these men?” He also proceeded to call his 3 biological children his other heroes and then declared his love for them in front of everyone, right before bragging on them. Let’s all collectively say it: “Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”

I must admit, watching this show – at least the parts that I caught – inspired me in at least two ways:

1. It showed me what other people were doing: what was possible. what is possible

2. It showed me that I can definitely do more. It isn’t a contest and I don’t need to guilt myself into it but it’s nice to know that even in the life-seasons where I feel tired, worn and empty, I still have something to offer someone

In a time when many people seem so self-involved, selfish and sometimes just plain stupid (see White House party crashers), it’s nice to see that there are still many people doing the opposite: making decisions based on the well-being of others. I hope to add myself to this list and look forward to adding my adventures to the “Yes Trail” on this blog so please check it out from time to time.

God Bless

My Rant on the White House Party Crashers

I thought it was a bad joke when I first heard it: A well-dressed, wealthy couple had apparently crashed the White House’s first State Dinner since Barack Obama became President. I’m irritated by the Secret Service’s response to this incident. They seem to feel that the President was never in any danger. Yeah. Right! Said the guy who royally screwed up on the job. What else were they going to say? Ummm….you’re right. We screwed up and it could have ended really really really badly???? Here’s my list of grievances with whole maddening situation:

 

The Not-So-Secret Service

1. Shame on you guys! Your one job is to protect the President. Of these United States. Shame shame shame on you for dropping this particular ball. In case you haven’t heard, Presidents have been killed because someone somewhere didn’t pay enough attention. This is worse though, because these weren’t people who were watching from a distance and tried to do something. YOU LET THEM IN and let them eat with the President. To make matters worse, there were TWO Presidents, a VP and countless other high profile White House officials in the room!!!! *sigh*

2. The President was never in any real danger? They were photographed shaking hands with the President while a visiting president stood an arms length away! This response is almost as bad as letting this couple waltz right into this event and it doesn’t exactly inspire faith in the public. You know what will? Your investigation into this ‘incident’ and the assurance that it won’t happen again.

3. Knowing what we all know – that there are people out there who aren’t so crazy about the current president AND that in past years, whackos have tried and sometimes succeeded in harming sitting presidents – you had better step up your game. This is a big and serious job that you have and you know: if you can’t manage a WH State Dinner, can you handle the more important aspects of the job? The “they were never really in any danger” approach isn’t going to work and for goodness sakes, step up your security. It’s what you do, right?

4. Your little mistake embarrassed the President, not just in the presence of the whole country but in the presence of a guest; a president from another nation. That doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in other visiting leaders, does it?

5. Anyone in the SS who thinks that these idiots didn’t have help from inside the WH, raise your hand. *crickets*

Just to be clear: mistakes happen and I get that, as I’m sure many other people do. It scares me that this happened, because it really could’ve been bad BUT what galls me, and I think many other people, is your response to it. You’re trying to be very casual about it, and you shouldn’t be. The response from the SS shouldn’t be or sound blasé. It should exude seriousness and a sense of understanding of the situation. Instead of trying to downplay the situation and save face, you really should be telling the American public that this shouldn’t have happened and you’re on top of things to figure out how it did and make sure it never does again AND please drop the “he was never really in any danger” stuff because he could’ve been and you need to show that you get that: He wasn’t but he COULD have been.

 

Idiots Blah and Blah Salahi

1. What you guys did was selfish and incredibly stupid. You embarrassed the President, his guests, his staff and the SS, all for 15 minutes of fame. Shame shame shame on you!

2. You don’t deserve to be in any sort of lime light and if Bravo puts you on their show, I hope that they feel the repercussions of that decision.

3. You’re living proof that money does not buy class

4. You’re wealthy so maybe this eluded you but it’s quite possible that someone – who isn’t quite as wealthy as you are – will lose their job! Shame on you. Again!

5. I hope that your friends employ the rich people’s kryptonite on you: silence.

 

Facebook: Now that you know how their pics were obtained, take them down and/or shut down their accounts. If you won’t even allow people to post their legally acquired pics because you don’t like the content, then you shouldn’t allow illegally obtained pics to be posted either. Be consistent please.

Bravo TV: I’m not going to say that you had anything to do with this but now that you know what this couple did, you’d better stay away from them. Ratings shouldn’t outweigh decency and  integrity. What this couple did was selfish, will probably lead to someone getting fired, embarrassed the President, in front of another President…nothing about this situation would cast you in a good light if you went ahead and cast them in any of your shows

My Facebook Quandry

In a nutshell, I’m embarrassed by just how much time I spend on Facebook. I’m also afraid of turning into one of those mindless updaters that make you want to hurl something at their heads. I especially hate the 3rd party updaters; “Jane Smith is wondering what to eat for dinner since her hubby decided to eat with his buddies at the university. She’s thinking she might have ice-cream for dinner. She’s so naughty…” Ummm, lady, you ARE Jane Smith you nitwit!

*Sigh* I have to go back to life pre-facebook, if for no other reason to prove that I can. So why don’t I, you ask? I’ll tell you why:

1. I’ve friends in different continents, countries and states so it’s nice to “see” them and hear/read what they’re up to lately

2. I can more easily stalk my little sister to see what she’s up to. Ok, I don’t really stalk her but she’s a teenager who doesn’t always communicate with me so it’s nice to go over to her wall and read about her shenanigans. I don’t judge either. I promise. Really!

3. I should be ashamed to admit this but it’s kind of nice to actually think up things to write or post coz I’m under the illusion that my “friends” care about it. To be fair, I really do post interesting stuff (said the Facebook addict )

4. It’s nice to be in touch with friends from high school and college. I really do like some of these people

5. I may not talk to all my ‘friends’ all the time but sometimes I do and it’s nice to know that they’re right there if/when I want them

Now, reasons to exit Facebook:

1. Some of my “friends” seem to annoy me more and more on a daily basis. I’ve recently taken to hiding their updates.

2. It’s clear that some of my “friends” are no longer people I’d be friends with offline. It’s time to say goodbye.

3. I don’t know how to delete some of these “friends” without hurting people’s feelings. I guess I’m not a good breaker-upper (I know that’s not an English word but I like it so it stays )

4. It’s turned me into a lazy friend and from my incoming call log, it seems to have done the same to my actual, real life friends. Not cool

5. I feel exposed. Some of these people are people I wouldn’t tell some of the stuff I post on my wall. Keep in mind that I don’t post explicit stuff or super personal stuff but still….the idea that someone might read something on my wall that would give them greater access to my life, thoughts, etc just weirds me out e.g. if an actual friendm says something like “hey Mia, have a safe trip…sorry things are tough right now….congrats on the new car…” then some random guy or gal would know that I’m traveling or going through a rough patch or bought a new car or whatever. So weird. It’s like yelling my info out in the middle of downtown DC or Times Square. Who does that???? Facebook, that’s who!

Also keep the following in mind:

1. My privacy settings are really high. You can’t even search for me on Yahoo or google. It’s completely private

2. I don’t accept hugs, play games, accept gifts etc. Basically, if it requires me to accept anything, I don’t accept it. I say this to say that only my “friends have access to my info”

I point this out to say that I really do use Facebook to keep in touch with my friends and acquaintances but it’s all getting to be just a little creepy. I’m also logging on several several several times a day, which is so lame! I know I could quit but I feel guilty. Seriously! I feel like I’d be throwing out the baby with the bath water, so to speak. In other words, I feel that by deleting my entire profile I’d be tossing out the useful contacts along with the useless ones.

So….I’m in a quandry when it comes to Facebook. What’s a girl to do?