Is your relationship truly intimate? How do you know? Well, here are 8 ways you can find out. According to Virginia Satir, if a couple has at least 3 out of the 8, that would be enough to build a strong marriage on.
- 1. Recreational Intimacy:
When you participate in recreational activities – bike riding, working out, hiking etc – do you feel extra bonded with your mate? If so, you may be experiencing Recreational Intimacy.
- 2. Intellectual Intimacy:
When you talk, do you feel like Christmas lights are aglow in your head? That’s the easiest way I know to describe this one. My experience has been that some people confuse intellectual intimacy with academia. To be clear, this isn’t about having the most complex conversations – although you certainly could if that’s what floats your boat. This is about having conversations that engage your mind in a way that few other people can; I’ve often felt like time flies/ceases to matter when I’m with intellectually stimulating people.
- 3. Social Intimacy
When you and your beloved hang out with friends or in other social gatherings, do you experience a special depth and connection to each other?
- 4. Emotional Intimacy
Is your relationship a safe place for both of you to share your emotional selves. When you do share yourselves with each other, does that leave you feeling more secure, loved and safe with your beloved?
- 5. Physical Intimacy
This refers to non-sexual physical closeness. Is it important to you to spend time with your beloved, even when you’re not particularly doing anything of great importance? In those moments of comfortable silence, do you experience a deeper deliciousness to your relationship?
- 6. Aesthetic Intimacy
Do you experience your love and closeness in a deeper way when enjoying beautiful things together? What kind of beautiful things, you ask? How about going to art museums, concerts, etc?
- 7. Sexual Intimacy
The best way I know to explain this one is to say “connected sex”; the kind of sex that feels like a holy experience, lol. Seriously though, connected sex is different from just sex. Think of sexual intimacy as apple pie with ice cream and a cherry on the top, instead of just apple pie. Please note: there can be sex without intimacy + there can also be intimacy without sex. For your sake, DO NOT CONFUSE THE TWO.
- 8. Spiritual Intimacy
Does the pursuit, experience or study of your spiritual beliefs leave you feeling an attachment and closeness to the apple of your eye that’s so deep, you can’t quite describe it?
Now that you’ve had a chance to read through them, what do you think? Does your marriage have what it takes to last? Is that special someone worth waiting for? Fighting for? Is it time to let that almost-special person go? Does this ring true for you or does it sound like a load of hooey? Let a sista know in the comments section J