These last three months have been some of the stormiest months in recent years. I’m happy to report that things are starting to get better yet I’ve still been walking around like someone in a battlefield. In my defense, I’m at the tail end of a storm and I guess I still haven’t been so willing to trust the calm. I’m a Christian by faith so I was also asking God a million questions, wondering how in the world things were going to work out, then something happened that basically answered my questions and calmed my fears.
It started with random songs in my head, all pointing to the same thing: God would take care of me. I guess He could tell I wasn’t too trusting coz the next thing I knew, random people on facebook, some of whom I rarely see, were posting the same things on their walls: “God will come through for you no matter how long it takes” said one of them. This time I started to get it, kinda like the sunshine on a cloudy or rainy day. However, he went one step further to cement His message and did one more thing: He sent an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.
I got a note that said “I sent you something by mail. You should get it by next Tuesday or Wednesday.” Honestly, considering the source I figured I knew what it was 😉 so I expected a chuckle and a blush from this “envelope” from this sweet friend. However, when I finally got it, it didn’t look like anything I thought it would. I ripped it open to find: a beautiful, sweet letter and something that God knew I needed and would continue to need in the future (among other things). In it, she said that she had felt led by God to do this, that she didn’t know why but she knew that she must obey that prompting as it had been with her for quite a while. To say that this letter and its contents shocked me would be the understatement of the year!
See, on the way to the post office, I had been talking to my mum, telling her that I had moved here on faith, that I had trusted God with so much yet things hadn’t gone as hoped and I now was beginning to feel embarrassed about it. I was ashamed to admit that I had made these HUGE life choices based on what I thought God had promised to do, believing that He would be there every step of the way. I wasn’t feeling very positive or trusting so to get this letter felt like one huge Godly eyebrow raised at me, as in “SEE???? I TOLD you it’s ok to trust me. Didn’t I? Didn’t I? Haha, and you thought I would abandon you? Never! Never have and never will!”
I once heard from a movie that the best gift was “an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.” Well, this friend surely reminded me of that. I still have moments of worry, I still have times when I can’t seem to relax in the knowledge that no matter what I’ll be alright. That one envelop gave me the added strength and fuel to trust that I am ok now and will be ok in the future and that all is well and all will be well. NOW I can trust the calm.