Monthly Archives: January 2010

Deactivated Facebook! Adieu?


This is the post that never was, so hopefully the 2nd time’ll be the charm. I can hope right?

Here’s the long and the short of it: I quit Facebook last week. More specifically, I deactivated my account. I wanted to delete it but alas I just couldn’t trust myself to do it but assuming that all goes according to plan, I’ll delete it soon. Here’s a quick run-down on my reasons:

1. I hated the new Facebook. You know, the one where every single action on your part is broadcast right on your wall so that everyone, even those who really couldn’t care less, can see. I started to feel like a tagged and named animal out in the jungle where my trainers (captors?) could trace and broadcast my every move! I don’t need that kind of intrusion, which brings me to point #2

2. I felt controlled by Facebook. I could no longer decide who could see what when because Facebook had done that for me. I hated feeling like I was under the dictatorship of Facebook, where they decided for me what I could decide for myself. The added hypocrisy of the privacy section where they lead you to think that you have all this control over your page when you really don’t further moved me from frustration to serious aggravation.

3. Facebook was taking too much of my personal time and leaving me with nothing to show for it. To be fair, I was the one giving this time to Facebook; they weren’t actually taking it from me. Either way, I decided to force myself back into reality by forcing a withdrawal

4. I noticed that a family member would rather talk to her friends and post things on Facebook than talk to her family. In her defense, it’s perfectly normal for a person her age to do this. However, I noticed that I too was thinking in terms of Facebook i.e. “these are definitely going on Facebook….this would make such a cute profile pic….I’ll see you on Facebook…do you have Facebook?….Facebook Facebook Facebook, Sheesh!!! I’m a grown woman who needs to re-think how and what and when I share what I share and with who.

5. When I thought of my updates as the equivalent to going to Times Sq – NYC and announcing, nay yelling via PA system – to the world that “I ate the best mangoes today….OMG what a beautiful sunrise….I fucking hate….”.  So what? Who cares?  I honestly felt silly

Those are just 5 reasons although I’m sure I could come up with more. I’m curious to know what you think of my decision and/or the positive/negative aspects of Facebook in your life. Do tell. Until then, hugs to you 🙂

To be honest


OK, here’s the thing: I had this really long, important and meaningful post (to me atleast) all written out then I somehow accidentally deleted it. Normally, a draft is saved as I write but not this time. This time, I did something incredibly stupid that prevented the automatic saving of the draft. Needless to say, I simply didn’t have the heart or energy to write another post so I waited a few more days. So here I am.

I will write another post soon, and remember to save it to draft as I write. Until then, lemme say this: I deactivated my Facebook account about a week ago. The reasons will be discussed in detail in the next post. For now, let’s just say that I’m suffering some withdrawal symptoms yet curiously, have no regrets.

Time shall tell.

Legacy of a man (with love)


I am so sad to be writing this but I wanted to write something in honor of this man. When I was a little girl, I would always “tell on” my mother to him. He would hold court and lo and behold, the verdict would be in my favor. What’s not to love? 🙂 There’s more to love about this man; so much more than I can write in one simple post. That doesn’t mean I can’t try…

1. He showed me love. I can’t think of a time when I did any wrong in his eyes. In his eyes I was perfect and worthy of love, just the way I was. He often call me “kanuku,” “gathufu” and “kanyama” in jest. I would call him the same; I was too young to know better 🙂

2. He was hardworking. He wasn’t just hardworking, he held himself to the highest standards. That is one his legacies to me; that hard work pays and even when it doesn’t, it mustn’t be exchanged for lazyness.

3. He cried. My family recently decided that I must’ve have “taken” after him because…well, let’s just say that I’m not  shy about expressing myself. To put it mildly, without me Kleenex would go out of business :). The reason this aspect of his personality means so much to me is because I knew him as a man with not just sympathy but empathy as well.

4. He was generous. He would give you the shirt off his back plus his shoes. I used to think that he was that way with just me because I was his “wife” but I have come to learn that this was his nature. Generosity wasn’t just a big word; to him, it was a verb applied to many

5. He loved me. I know I wasn’t the only one he loved but knowing that he loved me means so much. I knew that I was always welcome in his home and in his heart.

You may be wondering who this great man was. He was my grandfather: the man who gave me his name to carry as my own. He who survived colonialism, spoke well and eloquently and deeply deeply spiritual, kind, fun and so much more…and now he’s dead.

It’s true that he was blessed with a long long life. He saw the birth of several grandchildren and great-grandchildren and buried a few, including his own children. None of that means anything to me because I miss him so much and I want him back. He was my grandfather and he was precious to me.

It feels like the end of an era, (that’s what I was going to title this post) but I now see it as the legacy of a man. By his life, he left a great legacy to be learned and upheld. I will miss him so much and hope to live my life in a way that brings honor and positive recognition to the name that he gave me. I love him, in death as in life, and will miss him dearly.

Thank you Lord for the gift of this grandfather and thank you grandfather for leaving us your legacy. I hope to do you proud.