This Woman’s Worth?

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These last few days, I found out what my apparent worth is.

First, it was my male cousin – who has been drunk every single time we’ve met this year, btw. Anyway, he found it in his charge to give me advice for my life; something about purchasing land and blah blah blah. He wasn’t done yet though: he leaned closer to me, stinky breath and all, and half whispered that he was “ahead of me” because he had two children and I had none.

Oooouuuucccchhhhh!!!! Did that hurt you just a bit? I was momentarily stunned and yet not too surprised. Maybe my beloved cousin (insert sarcasm) was simply allowing me to peek into his mind and perhaps the minds of others like him? Who knows? The thing that really bugged me was that this wasn’t the first time he had said something along those lines. The last time he hinted at it, I was newly in the country and still under the cloud of “he’s family…he probably didn’t mean it like that….he’s family SO he couldn’t possibly mean it like that….”  Whatever! I guess now I know better.

Moving on….

I was talking to a friend who is decades older than I am (AND a gynaecologist) earlier today and recounted my conversation with my cousin. Imagine my utter shock when he sided with my cousin! He advised that I as a woman “should” be worried about children at my age. He further told me that the best years for a woman to have a child are between 25 and 35. Incase you were wondering, adoption doesn’t count (sorry to all you adoptive parents and adoptees). First, I’m well within that range and second, what an idiotic attitude to have?!?!

I found all this infuriating and stupid! Consider the following: my cousin is a drunk but he is “ahead of me” simply based on the fact that he had sex twice and delivered millions of sperm targeting just one egg. Let me be the first to say that anyone can make that shot so it’s hardly an accomplishment in and of itself.

 I don’t walk around thinking I’m better than other people because I see myself as a securely attached adult (psychology speak) but for purposes of this rant, may I just say that I am the most educated person (male or female) in my whole extended family, I speak my mother tongue better than many of those who’ve never left the country and in general I’m a solid, grounded person (says my very cool grandma 🙂 ).   

So, pray tell, is my worth as a woman reduced to my willingness and/or ability to birth a child? If that isn’t the dumbest thing ever, then I don’t know what is. I’m interested to hear what you have to say though so please do tell me in the comments section.

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About miamor2111

I decided to stop watching life pass by and join in instead. This year is all about saying "yes" to life, opportunity and ideas thus this blog. Like many people, I've wanted to start a blog, and like many people I chickened out. In fact, this is my second serious attempt. Welcome aboard. I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me. Feel free to leave all sorts of comments, any time and I promise to do my best to reply. Feel free to compliment, complain, criticize, communicate...whatever floats your boat. See you soon :-)

6 responses »

  1. ROTFLMAO! Wow! Great post Mia. This is so utterly hilarious! “Stinky breath and all”. No Mia, tell us what you REALLY feel about your cousin’s comment. 🙂 Couldn’t have put it better myself. It’s the 21st century and millions are yet to get the memo that a new dawn has come. Unfortunately such is the mentality of many. It seems like the final destination – especially for women – is marriage and children. Is this really our lot in life? Our main reason to be in this world? And once we pass 25 years of age everyone around us starts counting down and looking at their watches. Tick tock! Before you know it you are pressured into settling for some guy before your eggs shrivel up and die prior to your accomplishing your main goal in life. I find it quite unfortunate that the gyn would share those sentiments – but i suppose they are all cut from the same cloth? But if i were to play devil’s advocate, i would assume he’s talking from a medical perspecive? I have heard the same message – that older women develop complications. But it is precisely this message that adds fuel to the pressure women face to have kids – and have them ASAP!

    Girl power! Don’t let anyone take your self-worth away.

    • LOL, thanks Girl Next Door. Your comment gave me a much needed smile. I was so irate but now I’m better, especially after a boutique owner called me FAT because none of her business suits would fit me. Keep in mind that I’m not fat and more importantly she’s larger than me (she’s a woman with grown children. We’ve already established I have none 🙂 – and she’s clothed, right? So what sense does it make that she can find a suit and I can’t? Arrrggghhhh…..stupid people, stupid things said. Stick a fork in me. I’m done!

      As for kids, I’m firmly planted in the “I’m not ready for kids” camp where I shall remain until I am absolutely positive that I’m ready for kids and the joys and responsibility they bring so no worries there 🙂

  2. it never ends. If you get a kid they will still say that you are not worth jack coz you got a boy…or girl. Just follow your path. Do you. Be you.

  3. Raaaags, it’s great to see you (although the long time taken to approve this comment might suggest otherwise 😦 ) I totally agree with you on this post though: I’m not about to live life for other peopel because other people have their own stuff they should be worried about and you know what? My grandma says I don’t have to if I don’t want to so there! HAHA

    Come back often. As soon as I can figure out how, I wanna add your blog to mine so people can follow your awesome work. Cheers!

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