These last few days, I found out what my apparent worth is.
First, it was my male cousin – who has been drunk every single time we’ve met this year, btw. Anyway, he found it in his charge to give me advice for my life; something about purchasing land and blah blah blah. He wasn’t done yet though: he leaned closer to me, stinky breath and all, and half whispered that he was “ahead of me” because he had two children and I had none.
Oooouuuucccchhhhh!!!! Did that hurt you just a bit? I was momentarily stunned and yet not too surprised. Maybe my beloved cousin (insert sarcasm) was simply allowing me to peek into his mind and perhaps the minds of others like him? Who knows? The thing that really bugged me was that this wasn’t the first time he had said something along those lines. The last time he hinted at it, I was newly in the country and still under the cloud of “he’s family…he probably didn’t mean it like that….he’s family SO he couldn’t possibly mean it like that….” Whatever! I guess now I know better.
I was talking to a friend who is decades older than I am (AND a gynaecologist) earlier today and recounted my conversation with my cousin. Imagine my utter shock when he sided with my cousin! He advised that I as a woman “should” be worried about children at my age. He further told me that the best years for a woman to have a child are between 25 and 35. Incase you were wondering, adoption doesn’t count (sorry to all you adoptive parents and adoptees). First, I’m well within that range and second, what an idiotic attitude to have?!?!
I found all this infuriating and stupid! Consider the following: my cousin is a drunk but he is “ahead of me” simply based on the fact that he had sex twice and delivered millions of sperm targeting just one egg. Let me be the first to say that anyone can make that shot so it’s hardly an accomplishment in and of itself.
I don’t walk around thinking I’m better than other people because I see myself as a securely attached adult (psychology speak) but for purposes of this rant, may I just say that I am the most educated person (male or female) in my whole extended family, I speak my mother tongue better than many of those who’ve never left the country and in general I’m a solid, grounded person (says my very cool grandma 🙂 ).
So, pray tell, is my worth as a woman reduced to my willingness and/or ability to birth a child? If that isn’t the dumbest thing ever, then I don’t know what is. I’m interested to hear what you have to say though so please do tell me in the comments section.