I’ll jump right in and ask a question: when is enough, enough? At what point do you throw in the towel? At what point do you lay down your optimism and hard work and simply concede defeat? Check this (hypothetical) situation out:
Boy meets girl or in this case, boy’s clumsiness brings him smack dab into the eye view of girl. Long story short, boy asks for girl’s number and a fun adventure begins. Except that boy wasn’t exactly looking for a girl and neither was girl looking for a boy. For purposes of this hypothetical situation, let’s call girl Jane and boy Steve. So, Steve realizes that as much as he likes Jane, he’s not ready for a relationship. Apparently, he’s spent the last one year prior to Jane’s arrival hating women, courtesy of one who did him wrong. Then there’s Jane, who also wasn’t exactly looking for a relationship but her thing is, ‘he’s here so check him out and see if he’s worth the effort’. Roughly two months into this “thing” and things are at a standstill. A casual observer might say that they both feel they’re giving more than they initially intended or were willing to give, yet neither feels particularly satisfied. The same observer might say that Jane’s efforts toward Steve seem to be appreciated by Steve and they do seem to make a positive impact. However, Jane feels that Steve’s efforts aren’t exactly meeting her needs. An example would be time: Jane wants face time with Steve. Jane needs to feel that she matters enough to Steve that he would make an effort towards her by asking for her time, especially since she has proven time and time again that she is not after his money. To be fair, there isn’t much of it. He doesn’t have a job so much as he has a temporary gig. Steve on the other hand seems to feel like he’s happy with Jane’s input and he’s already putting in a lot of time to spend with her. On the phone! To be clear, Jane consistently states she wants face-time while Steve doggedly offers phone time. Typical male brain at work or a clear message that Jane should heed?
Let me also state for the record that every single meeting they’ve had has been due to Jane being in Steve’s neighborhood for one reason or the other. Two months into this “adventure” and Steve has yet to make any effort of his own to see Jane. Further complicating this tale of like-gone-wrong is Jane’s instinct, that 6th sense that all women are supposed to have. When she checks in with hers, it tells her that perhaps she should hang in there since when they do talk they’re happy, and this could be a valuable learning opportunity for her. In other words, she’s not convinced she should walk away (although truth be told, she’s slowly getting there).
I’m the casual observer so now you’re the casual observer. What do you think? Should Jane stay or leave? My own personal question is: why would a guy who’s so clearly happy with a catch like Jane not actually make the effort to see her? Another personal one: why don’t men listen? If she wants face time (which you seem to enjoy and ps: that’s not code for sex), then why not give it to her?
I’m eager to hear what you have to say so share your thoughts in the comments section. I look forward to them. Cheers!