Happy long-long-after-Valentines Day


“We attract who we ARE not who we WANT”.

This has been one of my guiding phrases. I love it because it focuses the conundrum of love on you and not ‘those others’. Here’s the thought process: all your partners – former and current – have only one thing in common: you! You are the common denominator so if you are always attracting or attracted to a particular kind of person, then it’s up to you to explore if there is something in you that is similar to those characteristics that always appear in your love life.

I wouldn’t say that love is something you go out to find but I do think you must be ready for it; your heart needs to be fertile enough to receive it when and/if it shows up. That can’t happen if conditions are only perfect for the wrong kind of people; those who neglect, abuse, ignore, insult or take you for granted. If you’re needy, pushy, closed-off, bossy, boring….whatever it is, you need to know it. It’s not the end of the world if you’re those things, but my policy is “it’s best to know”. Furthermore, if you keep doing the same thing when it comes to love, then it stands to reason that you’ll keep getting the same results. Now is as good a time as any to try something different. Tweak something, change something and see if that changes your love patterns.

Now that the hullabaloo surrounding Valentine’s Day is past, I hope you will take the time to assess your love life. Think of it as taking your car (heart) for maintenance before a long road trip (your love life). There’s nothing to be ashamed or judgmental about and who knows, you may be pleasantly surprised. You may find that you’re always attracted to smart intelligent partners because you are a smart, intelligent person. You may also find gems of information, for example you’re attracted to unavailable partners because you yourself have an entire security system, complete with guard dogs, around your heart. While this may not feel like a gem, it actually is since it points you to a specific aspect of who are and gives you the opportunity to change it, or not.

I look forward to hearing from you. I truly hope you had a fantastic Valentines day but I hope even more, that the future of your love life is much more fantastic than just one day.

About miamor2111

I decided to stop watching life pass by and join in instead. This year is all about saying "yes" to life, opportunity and ideas thus this blog. Like many people, I've wanted to start a blog, and like many people I chickened out. In fact, this is my second serious attempt. Welcome aboard. I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me. Feel free to leave all sorts of comments, any time and I promise to do my best to reply. Feel free to compliment, complain, criticize, communicate...whatever floats your boat. See you soon :-)

4 responses »

  1. Yes, I am a black hole of emotional need, want to be simultaneously comforted and abused, accepted and rejected, smothered and left alone. I can’t understand why that would result in me either getting all of that or knowing codependent people like myself but who won’t give me attention when I want it while not bothering me when I don’t. I sent a Valentine to someone who hasn’t talked to be in over seven months or seen me in 40 years and doesn’t like me wearing much less male modeling panties on the internet. I have no problem finding friends if I want but for Valentine’s Day I guess I’m it for myself. Oh well. What, me change? Maybe I can turn into a real life version of the Alfred E. Newman character from the old “Mad Magazine”.

    • You don’t sound like you love yourself too much Panty Buns 😦 You’ve tried this approach for a while now so why not give another approach a try. Change isn’t such a horrible thing. My two-cents worth is try something different and see what happens. It’s not like you can’t change back if you don’t like it 🙂 Oh, and tell me more about this “Mad Magazine” character. Who is he?

  2. the only thing that valentine did for me is leave me broke hehe but i had fun and i hope you did too. the beauty of writing as a profession is that you have so much freedom to go here and there, and hence had time to have fun and the only question i was asked was “Can everty day be like today, hmm? got me thinking, maybe we don’t do enough the rest of the times and thats why our relationships fail. thats just my thought anyway

    • Heeeey good for you Pitzevans 🙂 The fact that she asked for more days like that means that 1) you did GREAT yesterday and 2) Maybe ya’ll don’t do enough stuff that leaves her feeling loved/appreciated. Your vals date just leaked you the answers to the exam. Thank her dude! Check out a really easy-to-read book: “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Get the original (for married couples) not the “for teens, sijui for who/what/where” and enjoy it. You’ll maliza feeling like u just re-did ur KCSE and (re) passed 😛

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