Category Archives: Humor

Satir-inspired Sweet Satisfaction

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Well, I just spent two weeks ensconced in a Virginia Satir training course. Quite possibly the best trainer ever – Jennifer – flew over from Canada to teach us what has been a life-altering way to view and treat myself and my clients. Satir believed in being real with yourself and your clients; it goes to reason that if you can’t love thyself, you really cannot love your client. If you cannot have unconditional positive regard for yourself, then you cannot have it for your client. In case you didn’t know, “unconditional positive regard” is and should be standard operating procedure for a therapist. Any therapist that doesn’t extend this most basic humanity to a client is precisely the kind of therapist you should stay far faaaaar away from.
It would be impossible to share everything I learned on a blog post but I’ll be sharing some key things that I hope will help you in key areas of your love life, beginning with your love life.

Are you ready???

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Viva La Musica

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I had an epiphany today: any attempt I make at a life without music is going to not only leave me miserable, it’s going to MAKE ME miserable. The last few months have been a music-less fog and I’ve gotta tell you, it was a cold, brutal slice of hell. No kidding!

Anyway, having this rather “duh” moment turned out to be a life saver. I feel a little more focused, a little more energized, and a little happier. Amen! Now I need to find, create or re-create a vision, expect the expected in this field and trust my musical future. I’m not there yet, but alas there’s a light at the end of the tunnel – and it’s not a train, haha.

Can you relate to any of this? Tell me about it. It’d be great to know that I’m not alone. 

Gardasil & Laziness

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I found myself getting caught up in the Gardasil debate today. I was quite surprised because I had already made my decision about it a couple of years ago so I wasn’t even thinking about it, until I saw an article on Facebook about a researcher who couldn’t sleep at night knowing what she knew (http://southweb.org/lifewise/the-lead-vaccine-developer-comes-clean-so-she-can-sleep-at-night-gardasil-and-cervarix-dont-work-are-dangerous-and-werent-tested/), and then watched this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0gCVCP8BFrU) and I just kind of lost it.

Ladies, parents of girls and really anyone with a female you love in your lifedo not take or give this ‘vaccine’. Even if it turns out to be the safest drug on earth, take your time because from what I’ve read & heard, the side effects last a very long time. Remember the drug that was given to many women in the 60s to help with their morning sickness but ended up costing them their fertility? If you don’t, google it. The cost of a long term side effect is higher than the cost of annual or bi-annual pap test until/unless you’re sure Gardasil et al is right for you. My personal rule is: if a drug hasn’t been on the market for 7-10 years, count me out. I’m not taking it.

As for laziness…that was my middle name today. My most taxing activity of the day was moving from one bum cheek to another, in search of a more comfortable position. Shamelessly 😀

Ode to Friendship

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Have you ever had someone do something so great for you, unexpectedly? It could have been a stranger (like the security guy who quite randomly and unexpectedly gave me a free pass to the viewing deck at the Rockefeller Center in NYC), or an acquaintance or even a friend. They may have given you good advice, time, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a monetary gift, maybe they even connected you to the right people for your career….the list is endless. The point is, if you’re like me, they gave you exactly what you needed at that time. Did you thank them? Do you remember them or were their actions forgotten shortly thereafter? Do you try to be like them to others?

Well, recently certain people showed up in a big way for me. This post is about them. This post is about saying “thank you” to unexpected friends at an unexpected time. This post is to inspire you to think of those that have shown up for you, to thank them in your own way, to remember them as often as possible, and to be one of them as often as you can. Here are a few of them who made a positive impact to my life these last couple of weeks.

C, my friend and hairdresser sure didn’t think he’d be earning his stripes as a therapist when he agreed to do my hair. Try to imagine what it must feel like to be washing a client’s hair while she cries, applying hair stuff while she cries and putting her under the drier while she cries! I imagine it must have been quite uncomfortable, and yet he hang in there with me. Eventually, I was able to share the cause of the tears. He in turn gave me very good solid advice that quite literally saved my sanity. It also strengthened our friendship and trust.

Maggy unexpectedly stopped by my house. Maggy told me that she hadn’t planned on coming over on that particular day but felt she needed to. I wasn’t expecting her either. That visit brought us much closer and she ended up giving me advice on both a professional and a personal matter. On that day, she brought me friendship and clarity on an issue that was threatening my peace of mind. Maggy also removed intimidation about certain things that were overwhelming me. Tell me God didn’t arrange that. Actually, don’t because I won’t believe you.

M is a man I’ve known practically my whole life. We met quite randomly on that day; I was going to the store to get some soda and french fries (my latest addiction:) ) and bumped into him. He is responsible for a recent (and lasting) burst of optimism and enthusiasm regarding a certain major decision in my life. He is also responsible for my latest life motto: ACTION NOW! I doubt it was his intention to inspire me forward on that particular day in that particular way – we were just hanging out after all – but God knew that I needed him and so he came. It’s quite a nice feeling to have a friend re-enter your life, but when they bring with them what he brings with him, it’s definitely an added bonus.

My mum! Yes, I was surprised by this one since we’ve had a challenging time these last twelve months or so. I didn’t realize how much a certain person/situation was stressing me out until I told her about it. Talking to her allowed me to vent and gave me access to tried and true advice, which stopped me from making a radical decision that may have turned out to be a mistake. I needed what she gave me, and God knew she’d be the best person to give it. In addition, it brought us closer than we’ve been these last twelve months.

MPrissy is a friend I’ve know for years. I won’t say much about her because I simply don’t have the space. Let me say it this way: she’s the friend to whome I recently wrote “Oh my God, I really  am FAT…so depressing…” and she wrote back “…inbox me…” because she knew that this wasn’t normal talk for me; these are not words that typically leave my mouth. Simply put, she gets me. When I need a friend who gets me, I get her (get it? hahaha). Seriously though, I’m the lucky one here.

This list should be much longer because so many people have added to my life. I also accept that this list is unfair because it only focuses on the last couple of weeks, and even then I know I’m leaving some people out. My word count doesn’t allow me to name them all here but, what I do hope it allows me to do is point out the many ways we can be a blessing to someone else. It’s quite humbling to be the recipient of so much goodness so in turn, we should strive to add goodness to someone else’s life. We should be the friends we wish we had, or in my case, we already have.

I hope this inspires you forward. Of course, I also hope you come back often and share your experiences in the comments section. Remember, 2011 is the year to say YES to life and as evidenced by today’s post, to say YES to friendship.

Jane & Steve: Update

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Last we talked, Jane & Steve were having some issues. Here’s some of what has happened since:

Jane & Steve were actually doing better than usual. They had even made plans to go someplace that very week. It wasn’t a date and it wasn’t anything romantic but it was important to Jane and Steve agreed to take her. Steve didn’t really come through for Jane within the agreed-upon time frame. However, one day he called and asked her to come over to his job because he’d found someone to fill in for him briefly while they were gone. His friend never showed up so Jane spent the time hanging out with Steve and his friends at work (his job is very laid back. Infact, his friends don’t work there they just come to hang out with him there).While there, Jane seemed comfortable and so did Steve; he usually seemed a bit worried if Jane hang around him at work infront of his friends. Somewhere in those hours, things got weird for Jane but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. It seems to this observer that it was more of a cumulative effect than anything specific. Here’s what I mean:

1. Jane got to Steve’s past 4pm that afternoon. By the time she got there she was hungry and apparently, while they were chilling out, she made one of those “I’m starving…I haven’t eaten all day today” comments. Steve’s response? Silence. Nothing. Nada. Keep in mind they have a soda-fridge at his job. He didn’t even offer her a drink, which would’ve cost him 25bob! After a while, she went and got a snack and brought back enough for them both, which he gladly enjoyed. I was curious (and furious) about this one. I mean, he called her and she spent her money to go and see him and he doesn’t even offer her a drink or food? A soda is 25bob. Chips is 50bob for goodness sakes! Anyway isn’t it part of our culture to offer a guest something to eat or drink? Gentlemen, when you like a girl shouldn’t this part be obvious or am I missing something? Talk to me people 🙂

2. At a later point, he ordered a fresh juice and offered her one but Jane declined since she already had a drink. When the juice attendant stopped by later and asked if she was ready for her drink, she answered in the affirmative. Steve’s response? He apparently didn’t seem pleased, even though he had offered to get her the juice at the same time he got his. *sigh* he’s an idiot, is my opinion.

3. Later still, Steve got a bit arrogant, for example, he made comments about another woman’s butt and boobs in the presence of Jane. His reasoning? “We’re guys. That’s what we do”. In his defense (and I’m looking for a silver lining here), he apparently preferred Jane’s boobs to the other girl’s. Still, it was a bit weird for her. Later when she asked him if her top was too revealing (because her boobs are for his eyes only, I presume), he said the top was fine and anyway it was ok if his friends saw a little coz it would make them jealous and wish she was theirs and not his! Hmmmm….I’m not a guy so I won’t guess why on earth he would say any of this. Maybe my male readers would care to enlighten us girls?

To cut this long, sordid tale short(er), that night Jane went home but she had a nagging question: “what has he added to your life in the two months you’ve known him?” When Jane couldn’t answer this simple question, she knew that they were over.

A few days later, she broke up with him. Via text message!

Bashir’s visit to Kenya

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On Friday, August 27th 2010, Kenya promulgated their new constitution. This was a pretty big deal, considering that Kenyans have been living with a constitution that was signed by the Queen of England back in 1963! One would think that this good news would be the focus of the world media but alas, that has not been the case. It turns out that among Kenya’s special guests for the event was the President of Sudan, Al Bashir, who has a warrant of arrest on his head. Apparently, Kenya should not have invited him to witness this great event but more importantly, Kenya should have arrested Mr. Al Bashir considering the outstanding warrant.

At this point I want to point out that the last time Kenyans went to vote for anything was back in 2007, and it ended badly to put it mildly:it led to the Post Election Violence that was witnessed the world over. This brings me to my main bone of contention with the world and media reaction to the events of August 27th 2010. Kenyans actually voted for a very important document peacefully and without incident yet the world wants to focus on the negative aspects. What the hell is up with that?!?!?

Maybe Kenya’s leadership shouldn’t have invited this alleged criminal BUT there are other things to consider, for example:

1. In the many many years that Sudan has been trying to develop and maintain a working democracy, this same world/media has been able to count on Kenya’s positive influence on Sudan to help things get better. Treaties have been signed in Kenya, which – fyi – is also the strongest economy of the East African region.

2. This visit could also be used as a ‘heaping hot coals on someone’s head’ type of learning opportunity. A leader of a country without a proper working government watching millions of people celebrating their own grand achievement? Don’t you think it would be positive proof of what can (and should) happen in his own country?

3. Kenya is a member of the AU (African Union) and as such, is held to the agreements that it signs. I don’t claim to be an expert but I do know that one member of the AU is forbidden from arresting another member of the AU. Would the US arrest Tony Blair? Would Belgium arrest the German Chancellor? Let’s be realistic people!

4. Kenya has interests of its own that require the cooperation of Al Bashir. Yes, it may include eating with the devil but there isn’t a country in the world that would claim that they wouldn’t develop an already existing positive relationship with a President if it would help their cause; not the US, UK, China, Korea….none!

The world is apparently still hellbent on seeing the dark, scary, backward and savage Africa (which never existed, by the way, except in the eyes of the so-called discoverers of Africa). It’s time the world leaders and media openned their eyes to an Africa that does NOT fit that mold. It’s ridiculous to suggest that a country but be perfect in the eyes of other countries before it will get a fair representation of its citizens.

The so-called world leaders and media need to get over themselves; the sooner the better.  Sudan’s el Presidente can always be arrested. A new constitution is only promulgated once!

To be honest

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OK, here’s the thing: I had this really long, important and meaningful post (to me atleast) all written out then I somehow accidentally deleted it. Normally, a draft is saved as I write but not this time. This time, I did something incredibly stupid that prevented the automatic saving of the draft. Needless to say, I simply didn’t have the heart or energy to write another post so I waited a few more days. So here I am.

I will write another post soon, and remember to save it to draft as I write. Until then, lemme say this: I deactivated my Facebook account about a week ago. The reasons will be discussed in detail in the next post. For now, let’s just say that I’m suffering some withdrawal symptoms yet curiously, have no regrets.

Time shall tell.